The 5th Day Without TV

I don’t own a TV, but I do own an iPhone. Therefore I have perpetual access to YouTube.

I am addicted to YouTube, or at least nearly so. It is a pitiful thing. Since my sister and I got wifi in our apartment, I also can stream my favourite shows, and due to the video rental store a block away (archaic, I know) I need not ever lift my head from the screen.

And for the last few months, it seems I didn’t. I’d come home from work, meaning to read, write, or do something useful. But I’d be tired and sit down ‘just for a few minutes’ with my laptop. Before I knew it, it would be time for dinner (or two-thirty in the morning depending on the shift).

So, when I was challenged to a ‘media fast’ as part of my church’s ‘Month of Prayer and Fasting,’ I knew exactly what I needed to do. For those who are not of religious background, ‘fasting’ traditionally meant giving up eating for a time. Many Christians have expanded the definition to mean laying down a good thing (such as food, TV, coffee, etc.) in order to concentrate on prayer, and to submit that thing to God. For the next month, Monday to Saturday I may not watch TV, movies, or YouTube.

Today is the fifth day. And you know? i don’t miss it–not really. I mean, it’s Friday night and often that meant watching a movie with a snack and coffee. Tonight I’m home sick from work, and I’m on a the couch anyway, so a movie would be lovely. Tonight, I do miss it. I’ve ‘settled’ for a radio version of Les Miserables (no singing–yay!).

Every other day, I’ve enjoyed the freedom of having no choice. It sounds strange, but the worst thing about watching YouTube as much as I wanted was the compulsion. I couldn’t seem to resist it. So now my mind is made up for me. And also, I was the master of multitasking. In fact, it seemed I couldn’t concentrate on writing without a YouTube clip or a TV show playing in the background. Now I enjoy music, or silence instead. On the whole, my head feels clearer and I’m more productive.

But we weren’t challenged to fast from media to clear our heads and make us more productive, any more than we’re challenge to fast from food to make us lose weight. Here is the question: have I been using TV and media as a God-substitute? I realize after the fact that watching TV after work was just novocaine. It was a distraction so I didn’t have to face my issues. It was an easy way out.

Does one month of fasting fix this? I don’t know. I’ve never tried this before. It’s my hope that after a month, I’ll be able to enjoy movies and YouTube in more moderate doses, and to REALLY enjoy them without guilt because of it.

Two Tear-Jerker Commercials

In honour of Labour Day weekend, here are two awesome videos that made my eyes well up.  Never mind that one is a commercial for scotch and the other for life insurance.  These two commercials got it right.  Watch and enjoy.

Geralyn

Unsung Hero

A young man’s kindness may not bring him fame, but it will make a difference.  Wow, this one nails it!

I Read Your Book

An elderly man learns to read for a special purpose.  Oh this one made me choke up!

 

3 Videos to Lighten up your Tuesday

I don’t feel like being serious today.  I am being serious.  But I don’t feel like it.

Face it, it’s been a long week and it’s only Tuesday.  I’m in the thick of publishing my first novel, We are the Living, and this is only one tiny problem in the sea of troubles this world is in.  I’m not here to discount those.  I’m just hoping to give you fifteen minutes of relief.  Here are three videos that give me the giggles.

1. Thunderstruck, Redneck Edition.

Admit it, you’ve always wondered what AC/DC would sound like with banjos.

2. I’m My Own Grandpa

And speaking of rednecks… one of the most convoluted family wreaths… er, trees you’ve ever seen.  This song has entertained my family for hours.

3. Seth MacFarlane does the ‘Taken’ phone call as Kermit the Frog

“I don’t have any money, but what I do have are a specific set of skills…”  This makes me giggle like a maniac every time!  Kermit starts around 5 min, but the first half includes other voices, including Tom Cruise imitating Donald Duck.

And there you go.  I hope this gladdened your heart.  I’m always looking for hilarious YouTube videos.  If you have ideas for me, please comment.  Keep them clean please!

Have a wonderful day.

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Spring is here, Sah-puh-ring is here!

And in honour of spring, and my most detested bird, I give you this sadistic tune by Tom Lehrer.

I first heard this ditty performed by my beloved voice teacher at her own birthday party (all dressed up as an old lady) and it has been my song every since–whether performing it in front of an adjudicator in a festival, or singing it with an almost inebriated gusto in the halls at work.

One way to alarm your coworkers, I do assure thee.

I must add that if you had pigeons living on your balcony (and dropping frequent payloads there) you would detest them as well–but, my animal-loving friends, I would never ACTUALLY do the things in the song.  Not to worry.

Enjoy.  I hope this adds a smile to your spring day.

How to Guarantee an Explosion

Tattoos, retirement funds, texting while driving.  What do these things have in common?  My family knows not to bring them up at family gatherings unless we’re itching to be on the receiving end of the rant.

They’re pet topics of certain, beloved family members.  They can’t help but get fired up.  It’s a knee-jerk reaction–we all have them. But why?

 

Jordan and the gang from Messy Mondays have a knack for picking up on human ticks.  I’ll add one thing.

By identifying what ‘sets you off,’ you may be able to identify your greatest fears, and therefore be more objective about what makes you angry.

Business leaders Mark and Kristine Militello talked about how each person has a ‘fear button’–a fear that causes a knee-jerk, angry reaction when provoked. Kristine says her button is value. When she feels she is not valued, she reacts in anger. Mark reacts the same way to what he sees as a lack of respect.

They talked about how, once they discovered what their fear buttons were, they were able to step back, realize why they were angry, and that perhaps the person did not mean to make them feel unvalued or disrespected. Likewise, if the other was angry, they could address their need for value or respect, and diffuse the situation.

We all have these buttons. Mine is intelligence. If I feel patronized, or that my intelligence is being insulted, I get angry. You might not be able to tell–I am a non-demonstrative introvert–but inside, be assured I am fuming.

I have to realize that, for the most part, people don’t mean to insult my intelligence, and I need to not be so thin-skinned about it.

I bet if we were observant, we’d be able to detect the fear buttons of our best friends, spouses, kids and family, and save ourselves the trouble of many knee-jerk reactions.

What is the pet peeve that sets you off?  

Illegal Baby Names

And speaking of babies, there are actually baby names that are illegal! And thus, to make sure that you remain a law-abiding citizen, watch this video.

Why do I keep ranting about baby names? Well, I’ve named my baby at long last… My novel, that is.

It is called We The Living. It is an apocalyptic story (which may include the odd zombie horde) and is due to be published mid year.

Are there book names that are illegal? Well, I guess I don’t know. But if it involves ‘fifty’ or ‘shades’ or ‘grey’ or (heaven forbid) ‘twilight,’ I heartily recommend jail time.

Her Morning Elegance (She Fights for Her Life)

“And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat, and she fights for her life on the train. She looks at the rain as it pours. And she fights for her life as she goes to the store, where the people are pleasantly strange. Counting her change as she goes. Nobody knows” (“Her Morning Elegance” by Oren Lavie).

I used to sing this song to myself at work a lot, and here, listening to it while on break, I am reminded why. “She fights for her life” resonated with me. Not because I was dealing with illness or mortal danger, but because I saw my everyday existence as a battle–a romantic battle of good and evil.  It’s a romantic notion, but then I am a romantic!

That meat-packing facility, where I worked at the time, was hardly a happy place. Negativity was the norm. “F” was the favourite consonant. Toughness was what it took to make it, day to day–thick skin, humour, and fighting to protect my attitude.

She fights for her life.

I suspect there are many who ‘fight for their life’ day to day, and present such a cheerful exterior that ‘nobody knows.’  I hardly qualify as an example, so I will tell you of one of the best examples I know–my grandmother, whom we affectionately call “Ma.” Ma lives with chronic pain and limited mobility, yet she remains generous and good-natured. She’s learned the secret of enjoying the little things–a scenic drive, a good cup of coffee, the love of her dogs. She does what she can in spite of her limitations. She knits prolifically–toques, mitts and blankets for those who need them.  She is quick to say “I love you” and then, “I love you more.”

She fights for her life.

She is one of those who, in spite of pain, loss, loneliness, and the unfairness of life, are cheerful, productive, generous and loving.  It takes tremendous effort to put on their “morning elegance” and come down the stairs in the morning, but they do it. We cannot discount a good attitude as a natural disposition.  Optimism is rarely an accident.  Happiness is a choice.

“She fights for their life as she goes in the store, with a thought she has caught by a thread. She pays for the bread and she goes. Nobody knows.”

Watch the whimsical stop-motion music video for “Her Morning Elegance” and enjoy the relaxing vibe of the music.

Three Videos Every Single Should Watch This Valentine’s Day… Or Not

I’m tired of serious articles about singleness and how hard it is, and how I’m moving on.   So, I’ve gone to my old friend YouTube.  No, these clips aren’t that life changing. But, if you’re feeling sorry for yourself this Valentine’s day, why don’t you put your feet up, grab some chocolate and check ’em out?

And be happy you’re not Penelope the cat.

Pepie La Pew

And be happy you’re not these people.

#WhyImSingle

And listen to this advice.

Oh No, I’m Single! I’m Going to Die!

Feel better?

Life is good.

Comment Section Wars: 3 Ways to Rise Above

Deborah Tannen calls it “argument culture”: a “pervasive warlike atmosphere that makes us approach anything as if it were a verbal fight” (1). I call it “comment section wars”, and I am not immune to it.

I recently read a blog article, written by a Christian brother, defending the contribution of Christianity to science. He had some good points but his tone was, unfortunately, caustic.

You can imagine the shouting match that followed in the comment section.

I scanned through pages and pages of comments, Christian versus Atheist—some well reasoned, others showing high levels of cognitive dissonance, and many containing offensive stereotypes. No one was convincing anything of anything, and the more I read, the more my ire rose. I’m angry about this because a debate like that is so futile, but people keep on starting them as if they’d help. Instead, these arguments only breed greater animosity between parties, fueling the stereotypes they hold of each other.

But, I do believe that ideas should be discussed, shared, and refined by interaction with others. Social media is one of the most convenient ways to do so, and I’ve already been blessed by my online interactions. So, if we’re going to get into comment section debates, lets do it right. Here are three ways to be more effective in a online debates.

1. Lay aside your ego.

Is this about winning, or about discussing ideas? If it’s about winning, you’re probably in trouble.

Why? “You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph” (2).

If you don’t care if the person walks away hating you, then fine. But I guarantee this: You have lost your chance to influence them.

2. Remember that they are ‘a mother’s son’.

Online it’s more difficult to see, but the person on the other side of the debate is just as human as you. Like you they have dearly held beliefs, which they hold for more reasons than “they’re an ass.”

Give them the benefit of the doubt. They may have put research and considerable reasoning behind their beliefs. They may have experiences under their belt that have led to their conclusions.

Even if they don’t, and their reasoning is flimsy and poorly put together, they are still a human with hopes, feelings and desires, and they deserve respect.

3. Seek first to understand.

On the most pragmatic level, how do intend to demolish their argument if you don’t understand it?

But seriously, the greatest respect you can give your opponent is to hear them out and fully understand their position—as in, you could repeat the heart of their argument back to them. As in real, empathic listening: understanding their frame of reference and how they feel (3). This may require getting them to explain more, rephrasing what they say back to them to see if you understand (“What I hear you say is X. Is that correct?”). You’ll need to pay attention to what they’re feeling and, at times, reflect it back (“I can see this frustrates you”).

Empathy doesn’t mean agreement. It’s not caving, it’s understanding (3). Once your opponent feels truly understood, they are more likely to hear you out.

I love how available information is these days—blogs, YouTube, Twitter. I enjoy the interaction with fellow authors and readers on those sites. But these mediums of communication can’t be used to their full potential if we’re using them to fight.

I recently chastised a fellow member of a Facebook writing group in a comment section. I don’t recommend that. As soon as they’d replied, I was sorry I’d started it. But, in a show of good character, instead of getting angry they asked me what I found offensive about what they’d said. By that time I’d recovered my good judgment and did my best to reply both truthfully and civilly. We ended the debate (as best I know) in good standing with each other, each having learned something.

Following the three things won’t guarantee that your debate ends in agreement, but we will, at least, end the debate with a good conscience, having not hindered the progress of our beliefs. Perhaps an encounter with a respectful, caring individual will go a long ways toward the changing of their mind.

References

(1) Muehlhoff, Tim and Todd V. Lewis. Authentic Communication: Christian Speech Engaging Culture. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Academic, 2010.

(2) Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Special Aniversary Edition. New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc., 1936.

(3) Covey, Stephen R. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Free Press, 1984.

.

My iPhone is Ruining My Life!

I’ve only owned an iPhone for three weeks and I’m already an addict. Case in point, last night I lay in bed for an hour, watching YouTube videos (and this after I professed to be exhausted). After an hour had passed, my mind got that gross feeling that you get from eating too much candy. Just… ick. All of it was time down the drain.

I bought the iPhone to assist me in in blogging, since keeping up with my social media was becoming too big of a chore without constant Internet access. To be fair, it’s accomplished most of that purpose. But I’ve found myself reading less from actual, quality books and writing less—two passions of mine.

My phone has wasted so much time!

Correction: I’ve wasted so much time—me, not the phone. I can’t make excuses. It’s my lack of discipline that has turned my iPhone against me. I used to scoff at the people who sat around on break playing games on their phone, and now here I am doing the equivalent.

I’ve become what I hate!

So, this morning I deleted the YouTube app. Then I made up for the hour of garbage by listening to a podcast by Ravi Zacharias and a LIFE Leadership audio.

The iPhone is a double-edged sword, a portal to all sorts of possibilities. It can be used for YouTube, mindless surfing, compulsive, narcissistic social media, or addictive gaming. On the other hand, it is a business in a small box: my one-touch access to my blog, social network, email, banking and communication. It is my “portable university,” which grants me access to experts on all topics (Ravi Zacharias, Mark Driscoll and the British History podcast among them). My phone may be the single most powerful tool I own, and I was just letting it slip away.

So, here’s my resolution to use my phone for my life-purpose, not for dissipation. After all, with a great phone comes great responsibility.

What one app, if you deleted it, would save you the most time?  Let me know in the comment section below.