5 Things Financial Struggle Taught Me (Thus Far)

I’m not poor. Low income, I guess. Ever since I met Laura, the single, Mexican mom who was raising her four children on $400 bucks a month, I’ve known I wasn’t poor. I’ve even climbed my way above the Canadian poverty line, now that i’m a pill-maker by trade (the legal kind).

But I’ve struggled lately–partially because I still don’t make a lot of money, and partially because I dream big and publish novels, and partially because I’ve tried to look like I’m not struggling. Well, time to be honest. For the last six to nine months I’ve barely gotten by. Its one of at least four spells of financial hardship I’ve lived through–others included college and unemployment–and now that they’re passed I look back on them with a measure of pride.

Financial struggle is a hard taskmaster, but it does impart valuable lessons. Here are 5:

Never Give Up. I’ve often reminded myself that though things may not be comfortable, I will not starve. I may lose my job, my apartment, or my car, but I will live through it, and I will come through it stronger. One day, this will be a good story, so don’t give up.

Be grateful. Ingratitude will only dig the hole deeper. HECK YES! I dug my financial hole in part because I was materialistic, unsatisfied with the many good things i had. I’ve learned much about gratitude in the last six months, but I have a long way to go.

Being resourceful is like being a hunter, artist, and a mathematician at the same time. Fellow Mennonites may have the same pastime of cruising the grocery store, hunting for those pink ‘30% off’ stickers. This is how I bring home meat for my family. I hunt it!

I love the show Masterchef. In that show, the contestants are often given a ‘mystery box’ full of food items, and told to cook a gourmet meal with it. That’s a bit like shopping on a shoestring. Here are my odd items of meat and (eureka!) 30% off mixed greens. What healthful, tasty dish can I make from it? My meals are sometimes simple, but I’m proud of the healthy lifestyle my sister and I maintain on a tight budget.

It’s like being an urban survivalist, in a way, and it’s something to be proud of.

Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to help myself?” I lost my job in spring 2012 under bad circumstances. My confidence suffered to the point that when I tried to revamp my resume, I cried to my Mom “There’s nothing I’m good at.” And because she’s my Mom, she was able to list things off. Looking for work slammed my wavering self esteem over and over again. But, as my bank account dwindled, I forced myself to do something every day to find a job. Meanwhile, to pay the bills, I posted on Facebook that I was looking for odd jobs. I painted a lot that spring. I mowed grass. I took on casual work as a gardener. Every week I scraped together the money to pay my bills.

In my most recent financial hardship, I drew on this experience when I was low and desperate. I’d ask myself: “What can I do right now to help myself?” This translated to selling things on Varage Sale (any clothes I didn’t need, books I wanted to keep but I knew would sell, and even Christmas presents I didn’t like…sorry!), working overtime, and, once again, doing odd jobs.

Once again, by God’s grace and hard work, the bills are paid.

You can still do great things. Dreaming big can be expensive, but it needn’t be. I published Sons of Earth for about $600 bucks, for instance. I ran my first three 5K races in $80 dollar shoes, and cheap athletic gear.

In my city, Library memberships are free. Thrift stores are packed with cheap books. You can get free podcasts on whatever topic you want. This means you can get an informal, self-directed education for almost nothing. Sure, you don’t get a certificate on your wall, but you can study whatever your passions are and become a better read, better spoken, productive citizen without the approval of so-called experts.

You can give up a couple hours a week to volunteer with a church or organization, babysit your little cousins or neighbour kids, or visit the elderly. In doing so, you can leave a lasting impact on your town.

In the last financial struggle, it was impressed on me that this was a lesson, and I needed to learn. If I didn’t learn, this would keep happening, and happening, and happening. I needed to acknowledge my greed and materialism and swap it for gratitude. I needed to stop taking the easy way out, to work hard, and to be resourceful.

Above all, try not to worry. It’s not helpful.

The Bible says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, New International Version)

Hope for Those of Us Without a Degree

If you’re like me and never finished–or never started–your degree, and now feel like you missed the bus, I’d like to encourage you with this quote by business leader and author, Chris Brady:

“Those who deliberate, dilly-dally, hesitate, ponder, get bogged down in analysis, or have to be sure everything is perfect before taking action might do a very good job at what they do; they just don’t get much of it accomplished… It is almost always the go-getters who become the biggest leaders. To lead implies action, and leaders are people of action. There are usually people who have more talent, more time, more connections, more means, and more information than the leader, but the leader emerges to influence events because he or she takes action while others hesitate,” –Chris Brady, Leadership Lessons from the Age of Fighting Sail. 

I spent four months working with a gentleman with a masters degree in physics. His wife has her masters in mathematics. They are immigrants, and in the courageous way of immigrants, they took the jobs they could find so that they could begin a new life. So he is now a pharmaceutical coating operator like me.

But I do feel woefully undereducated, with my two-year diploma in Biblical Studies, when I compare myself to him. I’d love to have a degree–heck, in almost anything. In fact, I’d be a student for life it just paid better. But circumstances don’t allow that right now. Sometimes I get an inferiority complex because I don’t have the education, it seems, to do anything other than manual labour.

But there is something I do have: initiative. According to Mr. Brady, that’s a big part of being a leader. Initiative: something that doesn’t require a student loan, four years of school, or a certificate from the government. It just takes courage and action.

In a caveat, Brady says, “This is not to imply that all leaders are reckless or reactive–though some may be–but rather that leaders err on the side of decisiveness. Over time, the tendency toward action builds ability, so deficiencies of talent or means are eventually overcome.”

Or deficiencies of age, as I continually remind myself.

So, if you’re undereducated like me, take heart because, “There are usually people who have more talent, more time, more connections, more means, and more information than the leader, but the leader emerges to influence events because he or she takes action while others hesitate.”

By the way, can I just say that if you can get your hands on a copy of Leadership Lessons from the Age of Fighting Sail, do it! Anything by Chris Brady is worth reading, and this latest release is a thrilling way to learn leadership principles. If you are a history buff, you’ll love it. Find it at his blog, here.

Running and Reading, The Keys to Success?

Will Smith gives his two keys to success in life, and they’re gooders.  It’s a short video. Make sure to watch it.

 

Of course I love this video because I both run and read, and Will Smith just validated a good percentage of my existence.  But still…

Running

Even as an entry level runner, I’ve learned that running is as much a mental game (more?) as a physical one. First you overcome the voice that says “Its hot. It’s raining. My knees hurt. I want to sleep” and you lace up. Then as your legs grow rubbery and your lungs burn up in your chest, you shut up the ‘make the pain stop’ voice by saying, ‘I’ll run to the next corner,’ and then, ‘to the next corner’ until you’re home. When you finish a run, you build confidence and credibility with yourself. You did what you said you would. You conquered yourself. That compounds on itself. The negative voice becomes weaker as you continually shut it up. Conversely, it becomes louder as you let it win.

And you can do this all while wearing very tight pants.

Reading

Smith’s second key to success is reading. I doubt he means novels, though a solid novel can teach many lessons. You can learn almost anything by reading. I have a natural advantage here–reading comes easy. If you say ‘I can’t read,’ consider this. Tim Marks is a two-time best selling author, business leader and multimillionaire. He has dyslexia. He says, “When I read to myself, I would read it, and a moment later, I couldn’t remember what I had read. I couldn’t understand why the words looked as if they moved around on the page. I would struggle with the same word over and over.” As he entered the business world, his mentor, Orrin Woodward, told him he would have to begin reading or he would never make it.

So Tim began to read. He would read the book out loud to himself, and then summarize what he read, until he made it through the whole book. Eventually it became easier, still he says, “Three decades later, when I preach or speak at a leadership conference, I have to read from notes, and I still need to practice several times in advance to make sure that I understand the words so that they don’t jump around on the page. My reading still isn’t where it should be, but it’s a heck of a lot better than it was!”

Reading is a learned skill. As a bookworm, I had to train myself toward heavier reading.  But reading from a wide range of books stores up a bank of knowledge: financial wisdom, people skills, technical knowledge and inspiration can all be found on the page.

So you can absorb the wisdom of Dale Carnegie or Plato while sitting on the toilet. Been there, done that.

Do you agree with Will? Would you add any other keys?

Outrunning My Idiot Complex

I’m intimidated by my trainees.

They are educated in ways I hope to attain one day–a degree in physics (physics!), a degree in finance, and possibly degrees in business administration.  They’re well traveled, and they’re much older than I am.

But neither of them know how to coat pharmaceuticals, so they’re stuck with me.  I know coating, at least.  I know it quite well.

Calculus = Smart?

I’ve always desired to be the smartest one in the room.  When I was a preteen my Dad told me how much he’d struggled with trigonometry in school.  I resolved to master it.  In high school I did, indeed, become competent in low-level trigonometry and pushed myself to study the highest maths I could.

I can’t tell you how much time and tears I expended on the subject.  Why?  Because Calculus = smart.  I studied advanced physics.  Why? Physics = smart.

All the while, I was destined to be a… writer.  Woe is me.  If only I’d thought classic literature, poetry and writing classes were the thing for smart people to do!

Recreational IQ Testing

I’ve also been known to take online IQ tests for the fun of it.  I’ve been told they only count if they’re administered by a professional, but I still like to be reassured that my IQ is just a little higher than the average Jane’s.  I may in fact be ‘gifted’.

Never mind how many derelict genius’s there are out there.

I don’t know why intelligence matters so much to me.  I don’t know why I have to be “smart”.  Logically, I believe that IQ helps, but hard work trumps talent every time.  In fact, I have this coworker who I’m certain has a high IQ and is technically “smarter” than I am.  But I outwork him every day, and soon I’m going to pass him.  I don’t believe in saying “Oh, I’m just not smart.”

So why the heck do I have to be a genius?

The Book has a Silver Lining

You can’t choose your IQ, but fortunately there are no limits on the knowledge you may absorb.  So since I’m never smart enough, I keep on reading.  Oh yeah, I love to read, but mostly I’m outrunning my idiot status.  Must know more!  Must read classic novels.  Must read books on leadership.  Must read books on history.  Must read Plato.

I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to sit in a waiting room, reading Plato while everyone else is reading tabloids.  If that doesn’t swell my head, I don’t know what will.

If only they gave PhD’s to people who read enough books.

Close Enough?

Nevertheless, I am now a professor of pharmaceutical coating.  I’ve always wanted to be a professor of something.  I asked MY coach if she feels like an idiot the whole time she is coaching trainees.

“Pretty much,” she said.

Well, then I’m on the right track.

 

 

3 Ways to Read More

The typical American reads five books a year, according to the Pew Research Center.  I suspect Canadians are not much different. When I discuss books with friends, I almost universally hear: “I should really read more.”

Reading, as important as it is to our personal growth, doesn’t feel urgent.  In the press of our insane schedules, it seems impossible to squeeze in.  I get that.  I work full time, and am self-employed as a writer.  Still, I love to read and I manage to read three to four books a month.  Here are three ways I’ve learned to get my pages in.

1. Learn to Read in Short Snatches

The reading throne.

Many of the people who say “I should read more” also say they have to sit down and read for half an hour in order to make it worthwhile.  If you can get in half an hour of reading two or three days a week, more power to you.  But I get most of my reading done in five and ten minute increments.  When at work, one of my breaks is dedicated to reading.  I pick up a book at breakfast, or just before bed.  I read for the minute while I’m brushing my teeth.  I even read on the toilet.  Yup.

I find this gives me a ‘bite’ of information to digest at a time instead of a whole meal.  It may, in fact, make reading less intimidating.

But to read in short bursts, you’ll need to…

2. Have 2 or 3 Books on the Go

Instead of focusing on one book, have two or more books on different subjects in progress.  This way, if you become bored of one, you can switch to the other.  You can have a heavy read and a light read, and alternate as you have mental energy.

I like to have three books going at one time–usually a novel, a book on personal development, and one on another subject.  Right now I’m reading The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), Self-Editing for Fiction Writers (Browne and King), Twitter for Writers (Hall) and And Justice for All (Woodward).  That’s one novel, two books on my craft (writing), and one book on political theory.  Of course, you should tailor your reading list to your own interests and profession.

3. Have Books Everywhere

The easiest way to get a chapter in here and there will be to have books available at all times.  I keep one in my locker at work and one in my bathroom, and there is often one either on my nightstand, or on the kitchen table.

Another trick: download the free Kindle app to your smartphone.  E-books are cheap, and you probably carry your phone everywhere. I read a good chunk of Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5 in various checkout lines. No one need ever know you’re reading.  They’ll think you’re on Facebook. 🙂

By the way, if the book is boring, unrelatable, or just plain stupid, don’t finish it.  Time is too short to waste on a bad book.

A word of caution.  Reading is brainwashing.

As Stephen Covey said, “Begin with the end in mind.”  Decide what kind of person you want to be, or what you want to be an expert in, and let books point you that way.  I tailor my reading toward my writing career (novels are important, therefore), with a hefty dose of personal development because I’m not the person I want to be, or need to be in order to be successful.  I strongly limit my exposure to romances, especially those with explicit sexual materials.  I want to view people as brothers, sisters and friends, not sexual objects. Again, this is based on personal conviction and interest.

Read with an open mind. I’ve learned life lessons from the most unlikely books (such as lessons on fear that I learned from Georges St. Pierre’s book).  I’m learning to read, not just see what the book is about, but to find answers for questions I have.  I mine many blog post ideas from books I read.

I hope these tips are helpful. I believe that reading is one of the most valuable tools we have to make changes in our lives, and the more we read, the faster we work on ourselves.

Happy page-turning!

 

 

What Can My Small Voice Do?

Monday, Robin Williams dies in his San Francisco home, succumbing to severe depression. Tuesday, across the continent, I am in a factory making antidepressants. This isn’t lost on me. I mourn helplessly as I watch the hundreds of thousands of tablets rush by.

Iraq: Christians, Yazidis and other innocents are systematically killed under the onslaught of the ISIS. Outrage explodes all over social media, and every Christian blog sounds the trumpet. “Wake up!” they say. “Grow a pair!”

So I write to my Member of Parliament, and I look for an organization to donate to, and I pray, all the while knowing that the letter won’t reach the government for days, and the money can’t throw up a brick wall between the bullets and the little kids.

What can my small voice do?

In times like this it’s stylish to bash North American apathy. Oh yeah, I have it easy. I’m safe at home in front of my MacBook after my shift in the pharmaceutical factory. But what the hell do you want me to do? Get a gun and hop on the first plane?

Does anyone ever tell you that you must live your own life?

You cannot for one instant become an Iraqi Christian, take a bullet and be cleansed of the guilt of being a rich, white American. You are yourself, and here you are, in front of your MacBook.

But consider that Robin Williams was also a rich, white American, and he died in his own home, in the agony of depression. He’s a public case of a common story. We are surrounded by people who feel alone and hopeless, who stagger under the crushing weight of mental illness, physical abuse, relational brokenness, financial burdens, failure at their job, and unbearable schedules. Twitter isn’t hopping with their stories, but the pain is real.

We are surrounded by a sea of troubles.  We don’t need to look so far into the distance when they are right under our noses.

I fear that North Americans come off as apathetic because they’ve been convinced that they are too little to fix things.  Think of what we say: “The government ought to… My boss ought to… My parents need to…”  Our movies are all about BIG problems fixed by action heroes, spies, and superstars.  Heck, even the Evangelical Christian world is dominated by megachurch pastors and their best selling books.

That’s bull.

I can’t help but think of the proverb “If everyone would sweep their front step, the whole world would be clean.”  It is by ten-thousand small acts that the world changes.

I hope I’m not coming off too preachy. In fact, this post is the result of hours of contemplation and quite a few helpless tears. What can my small voice do? I’ve come to the shaky realization that I must do what only I can do. I must complete my assignment on this earth.

There are four ways I believe this can be accomplished.

1. Accept our Assignments.

No one has the exact combination of friends, family, location and predispositions that we do. We must be at peace with our starting point because it makes us uniquely qualified to work in our circle of influence. The moment we say “I wish I was…” or feel guilty for who we are, we inadvertently say “I am too good for this.” Instead, start looking for what you are good at, and what provokes you, and consider this the trailhead to your mission.

2. Become experts.

We begin by acceptance, but we can’t be satisfied with who we are. The resources and knowledge we begin with won’t be sufficient to live a meaningful, excellent life. We’ve got to become educated, to move past shallow opinions to a true understanding of what we believe. Moreover, we’ve got to develop the skills needed to propel us forward, be it interpersonal skills, business know-how, communication and writing–in my case, all of the above. University is good, but not necessary. Quality books and audios are much cheaper, and readily available.

3. Build a Community

It has been said that you are the results of the books you read and the people you associate with. It’s important to assemble a team of people around you so you can encourage each other, learn from one another, and shore up each other’s weaknesses. I have a community of writers around me who’ve encouraged me and have taught me everything from the mechanics of writing to business and marketing. I wouldn’t be the writer I am today without them, and six months or a year from now, I will be much better because of them. They speak truth to me.

4. Make an Impassioned Plea

Let your voice be heard. Talk about what is important to you. Write letters to your government representatives write to editors, blog, post on Facebook and Twitter, and talk to your friends. Do this with gentleness and respect, and the deepest understanding you can muster.

I denounce the use of guilt tactics to try to wake us up.  Guilt is a lousy fertilizer for growing spines. But I don’t condemn that every blog is talking about Robin Williams and the slaughter in Iraq.  I wouldn’t have heard about it otherwise.

Let your voice be heard, but don’t be satisfied with just speaking.  Reach out–with your gifts, your connections, and your knowledge.

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little.  Do what you can,”–Sir Sidney Smith.

Resources:

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Member of Parliament

LIFE Leadership (A well-rounded source of training on interpersonal, leadership and success principles)

The Center for Social Leadership

If I Could Tell Grads One Thing

Doesn’t it come to a point where you want to sucker-punch every aunt, grandma and friend who asks “What are you going to do after you graduate?”  Some of you have plans, but if you’re like me, you don’t.  And saying “I’m going to work” doesn’t have much of a ring to it, does it?

I’m here to tell you: that’s just fine.  You don’t have to have a good answer.

I was ejected from my safe, homeschool haven at seventeen, found a job at a meat packing plant and moved out. It was the definition of a dead-end job, but I made the most of it. It was just an interim job, but interim to what I didn’t know.

There is the odd, fortunate soul who knows just what they want when they graduate. But it seems most of us haven’t a hot clue. So we do like I did and get the first available job, or we take ‘University One’ or, if you’re of the Evangelical stripe, we go to Bible School hoping to ‘find God’s will for our lives.’ We were meant for something, our parents said when we were in kindergarten—to be firemen, musical divas, astronauts and presidents. So we watch, and wait.

And wait.

That’s how people get three degrees, I think—psychology, kinesiology and a bachelor of arts. Not that I wouldn’t like to get three degrees. If I could get paid to go to school, I’d be well on my way to a doctorate in something.

Hmm… Dr. Geralyn Wichers. I like that.

But I digress.

Winston Churchill said:

“To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.”

Waiting is inevitable. I think it’s unreasonable to ask a seventeen-year-old to decide what they want to ‘do’ for the rest of their lives. Most graduates can’t even write a grocery list, never mind a plan for their lives (no offense—I couldn’t either). If I’m reading Churchill right, the key is not knowing what you want, but preparing for when it comes. ‘When my ship comes in, I’m going to know how to sail’ kinda thing.

You can’t learn everything about something from a book—I know that. I’ve read marriage books and listened to talks on marriage and family, and I even took a college course on the subject, but I expect to run a pretty steep learning curve if I ever marry.

However, the experiences you have while you are young: travelling, reading, studying, volunteering—read: learning, learning LEARNING—lay a foundation for your life. The more of these things you do, the more broad and solid your foundation is.

In my late teens, I was involved in a network marketing business. I learned about making sales calls and presenting information. I gained a lot of courage from making myself do that, but as a business person I failed miserably. But, what this business had was a superb leadership education system. So, starting at age eighteen, I had people-skills, financial management, economics, conflict resolution, and basic success principles pumped into me.

I wish I could give the same to every grad.

Though I felt humiliated by the business aspect, I can’t regret that time because I laid a gigantic base for my life. I know I’d never be pursuing a career as a writer now if I hadn’t been exposed to that information then. I wouldn’t have known I could.

Finally, remember that ‘it is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can,” (to quote Sir Sidney Smith).

Just because we’re not sure what we want to make of our lives does not give us license to sit on our butts at home, as tempting as that is. What if our defining moment only arrives in our seventies?

Benjamin Franklin’s greatest work was as a statesman. He was an old man when that happened. But he’d been pretty dang busy—writing, building a franchise model printing business, flying his kite. He’d built up a solid base of experience and a network of influence. When the time came and his country needed him, he was ready.

If we do nothing, by seventy we’ll be… nothing.

So I encourage you to do the first thing, be it taking University One or a job at McDonalds—and be intentional about it. Wring every drop of knowledge you can from it. Pick up a book or subscribe to a podcast on something that fascinates you. Take adventures—explore, go on missions or humanitarian trips, go on road trips. You’re young now, and there’s not much to tie you down. Don’t wait for life to happen to you.

And always be looking, waiting for the hand to tap you on the shoulder so you can step up and shine.

The 5 Pervasive Ways People View Their World

Based on a lecture by Chris Mattis and Tribal Leadership by David Logan and John King.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” says the proverb. How we think—our paradigm—is the lens by which we see the world, the filter by which we take in information. It determines the results we get in life.

So it’s pretty important, eh?

Here are the five pervasive ways people think, according to Tribal Leadership, and as explained by Chris Mattis. See if you can find yourself.

1. Life Stinks.
In a phrase, ‘despairingly hostile.’ This is a dog-eat-dog, win/lose mentality. In this paradigm, there is no reason to care for anything because it will just be taken away from you. People are tools to get what you want. You just take what you can get, and don’t worry about anything else.

2. My Life Stinks (But the World is Okay)
This is victim thinking. The person with this paradigm thinks the whole world is, essentially, an accident. Success is based on luck, and they are unlucky. They just can’t catch a break and it’s not fair. They are dependent, passive and resistant to change and thus they don’t achieve much. This is the most common way of thinking in North America.

3. I’m Great (And You’re Not).
This is the autonomous, high producer. This person has a John Wayne mentality, going out on their own, blazing the trail and getting it done. They are independent thinkers. But… they may be cocky jerks who, ‘not only want to win but need to be the best and brightest.’  They may deceive themselves into thinking they are better than they are, and rob themselves of higher achievement.

4. We’re Great.
Now we are reaching high levels of thinking. This is interdependent thinking—I need you, you need me. These people surround themselves with people they can trust and who will tell them the truth. These people thrive on the true competition, which breeds cooperation. Collectively, they are high achievers because they are excited to work together for the benefit of the group.

5. Life’s Great.
This is the highest level of thinking and achievement, reached only by constantly chipping away at what holds us back. In this mentality, a team works together to make a global impact. This level is reached by very few, and may not be sustainable for long.

If you’ve yet to identify yourself, consider this example. You are driving home when you come upon a huge traffic jam. What do you do?

The “My Life Stinks” thinker will sit there, pounding on the steering wheel. They’ll probably be tweeting about the traffic jam and how late they’ll be and how much their day sucks.

An “I’m Great” thinker will make an immediate exit onto the nearest side road. They’ll whip out their GPS and careen down side streets, blowing stop-signs, until they’re around the jam. They’ll probably arrive at about the same time as the person who was stuck, but at least they were in control.

The ‘We’re Great’ thinker will begin redeeming the time. They may answer a couple emails, use that time as brainstorming or ‘thinking time’, or they may take in a constructive audio.

Okay, honesty time. I’m a 3—‘I’m Great’. I’m the one who has to be the best and brightest, and generally strikes out on my own. In college, I hated group projects. I didn’t care too much how the others did, I was just thinking “I will get an ‘A’ if I have to drag these slugs with me.” And we did get A’s on all three of them, but also personally edited all of those projects.

If any of my college classmates read this, I’m sorry for being a controlling jerk that put my GPA before you. I bet if I’d spend more time listening instead of asserting my academic agenda, I’d have enjoyed the project and learned a heck of a lot more.

And the independent mindset seems to be a lonely one. I’ve had the honor of associating with enough level-four thinking to want to rise up to that level, and to drive myself nutty with my own task-orientation.

Well, it ain’t over yet. Still time to grow.

Mattis paraphrased Aristotle: “We are the sum total of our habits.” And what creates our habits? Our thinking, conscious or unconscious. If we realize where our thinking stinks, we have the chance to nip it in the bud and change our results.

Referenced:
“Tribal Leadership,” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribal_Leadership.  Accessed February 20, 2014.
“The 5 Pervasive Ways People View Their World”, presented by Chris Mattis on February 8, 2014. LIFE Live seminar.

I Don’t Plan on Getting Married

I think wedding season and Valentines day must put all chocolate and girly-drink companies in the black for the year. I mean, those days can be pretty damn depressing for a single gal.

About this time, all the single ladies start posting things to Facebook like “I’m single, but I’m happy and I don’t need a man to define me and…”

Yeah, I don’t buy it. There are some fantastic single ladies out there, but deep down, I don’t believe they’re okay with their relationship status.

I’m not.

If I’m okay, why do I feel like I’ve been gut-punched every time a friend gets engaged?

My mom was married at 19, and as a girl I thought I’d do about the same. Nineteen came and went without so much as a date and I began to go through what every girl goes through–is there something wrong with me? It it because I’m fat? Have acne?

When I graduated from college (a conservative Christian school), somewhere between seven and ten of my classmates were getting married because that’s where Christian kids find spouses–Bible College.

Not me.

I didn’t want a career. I wanted to get married, have kids, and stay home with them. But I began to realize that things weren’t panning out the way I’d hoped. About that time, I stopped planning on getting married.

I want to get married, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t plan my life around something that might never happen. I can’t wait for my life to start, because it has already started. What will I make of it? All I can control is my own actions.

What I have to go on, so far, are my passions. I have a passion to learn, to teach, to write and to create. So I teach eight rambunctious kiddies and find happiness and in the way they clamour to tell me what’s up in their lives. I plan a long-term career as a writer, working every day to make it a reality. I create with my imagination, and I learn constantly.

I learn about relationships, and how to make them strong. If I never marry, this knowledge won’t be wasted. I strengthen my beliefs, hoping one day to teach them to my kids, but knowing that a strong faith will serve others regardless. I’m a good cook, and I can keep a house, and i’m trying to be good with money.

It’s actually fulfilling in itself.

I don’t want to come off as the smarmy type who has it all together. I know I’m not because of the crying fit I had when writing this. I’m lonely sometimes, and feel a bit like the last pair of shoes on the bargain rack. But it is what it is. How will I deal with it?

I’ll be okay with not being okay, but never, ever let that stop me from having a great life.

Do Reading Habits Correlate to Income?

“The most successful CEOs are reported to read an average of 60 books and attend more than six conferences a year–whereas the average American worker reads an average of less than one book and makes 319 times less income.

Although the media often discusses the disparity between the rich and the poor, they frequently fail to cover the amount of time and energy the wealthy have commited to reading, studying and educating themselves…

The most successful people I know read everything they can get their hands on.  They approach a $30 book as though it has the potential to make them a million dollars.  They see every opportunity to train and educate themselves as the most solid and sure investment they can make”

–Grant Cardone, as quoted by Chris Brady in Turn the Page: How to Read Like a Top Leader.

Agree or disagree?

My own opinion?  I’m no CEO.  I would fall into the average to poor income bracket.  But I’m pretty young, and don’t expect my education to pay off for a while.  I consider my hunger to read and learn my biggest advantage over my peers.  The path I’ve chosen is unlikely to bring me a huge income or great power, but at least I’m accelerating toward my own definition of success–a journey which is fulfilling in itself. Reading has improved my relationships, my finances and my faith.  Thus, I’m a huge proponent of reading.  Which would be why I’m reading a book about reading… go figure, eh?