Hope for Those of Us Without a Degree

If you’re like me and never finished–or never started–your degree, and now feel like you missed the bus, I’d like to encourage you with this quote by business leader and author, Chris Brady:

“Those who deliberate, dilly-dally, hesitate, ponder, get bogged down in analysis, or have to be sure everything is perfect before taking action might do a very good job at what they do; they just don’t get much of it accomplished… It is almost always the go-getters who become the biggest leaders. To lead implies action, and leaders are people of action. There are usually people who have more talent, more time, more connections, more means, and more information than the leader, but the leader emerges to influence events because he or she takes action while others hesitate,” –Chris Brady, Leadership Lessons from the Age of Fighting Sail. 

I spent four months working with a gentleman with a masters degree in physics. His wife has her masters in mathematics. They are immigrants, and in the courageous way of immigrants, they took the jobs they could find so that they could begin a new life. So he is now a pharmaceutical coating operator like me.

But I do feel woefully undereducated, with my two-year diploma in Biblical Studies, when I compare myself to him. I’d love to have a degree–heck, in almost anything. In fact, I’d be a student for life it just paid better. But circumstances don’t allow that right now. Sometimes I get an inferiority complex because I don’t have the education, it seems, to do anything other than manual labour.

But there is something I do have: initiative. According to Mr. Brady, that’s a big part of being a leader. Initiative: something that doesn’t require a student loan, four years of school, or a certificate from the government. It just takes courage and action.

In a caveat, Brady says, “This is not to imply that all leaders are reckless or reactive–though some may be–but rather that leaders err on the side of decisiveness. Over time, the tendency toward action builds ability, so deficiencies of talent or means are eventually overcome.”

Or deficiencies of age, as I continually remind myself.

So, if you’re undereducated like me, take heart because, “There are usually people who have more talent, more time, more connections, more means, and more information than the leader, but the leader emerges to influence events because he or she takes action while others hesitate.”

By the way, can I just say that if you can get your hands on a copy of Leadership Lessons from the Age of Fighting Sail, do it! Anything by Chris Brady is worth reading, and this latest release is a thrilling way to learn leadership principles. If you are a history buff, you’ll love it. Find it at his blog, here.

My Best Books of 2014

Which books changed my life in 2014?

I read thirty-six books this year, as of today. I hope to make it 37 before midnight tomorrow, if I can pound out the last of Plato’s Republic. Many of these volumes were forgotten the instant I put it back on the bookshelf, or shut off my Kindle.

Others changed me. I quoted new phrases. I modified my philosophy. I gained courage. I ate differently. Which were my most memorable books of 2014?

The Life-Changer: Trim Healthy Mama

This book, by Serene Allison and Pearl Barrett, set the tone for the entire year.  It was a year filled with fitness victories, as I lost nearly forty pounds, and gained a passion for running.

I have already written extensively on the diet and lifestyle espoused in the book Trim Healthy Mama.  You can read a summary of what it is and why I chose it here, some of my favourite benefits here, and more about my weight-loss and food addiction journey here.

Most-Quoted: Slaughterhouse 5

Though it wasn’t quite the page-turner that Divergent, the Maze Runner, and other popular novels I read this year, Slaughterhouse 5 lingers much longer.

After watching the Crash Course with John Green video discussing Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5, I was intrigued by the Tralfamadorian aliens, Billy Pilgrim’s complete unhinging from reality (and time and space), the fire-bombing of Dresden, and the ideas of time and free will.  It is also a strangely comedic book, considering the traumatic subject matter.

There was a lot of death this year, as there always is in this evil world. My method of dealing with this involved denial, impotent rage, helpless tears, prayer, and bouts of jaded weariness.  In those times, it was tempting to say ‘so it goes’ every time I’d heard someone died. I also gave thought to what time actually is, and how free we are to choose our destiny. I tend to oppose the Tralfamadorian idea of complete fatalism.

It is also no accident that the ‘Society of Immortals’ in the series I am writing makes their headquarters in Dresden.

Best Business Book: Rise of the Machines

How do you make yourself stand out in social media? How do you make your blog a success? Frankly, I was lost.

Rise of the Machines, by Kristen Lamb brought me from the dark ages of promo-tweeting, into the adventure of making friends through Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms. I’m no social media wiz, but at least I have some idea of how to make the most of these resources and not bore everyone to death in the process. Particularly helpful was her blogging advice, which promotes a highly relatable style based on your personal interests, stories and experiences and not on your actual profession (because apparently only writers want to hear writers rant about writing).

The One That Haunts Me: Thank You for Your Service

I stumbled across Thank You for Your Service, by David Finkel in McLeans magazine while I was revising We are the Living for publication. It’s the story of several American soldiers and their families, who live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, traumatic brain injuries, or physical injuries. It was probably intended as an expose of the inadequate care these men and women receive, but for me it was about seeing life through their eyes.

I was in the midst of writing Liam, the male lead of We are the Living, who has battled through the compound effects of a brain injury and PTSD and cannot quite break free of their stigma. This book sharpened my image of Liam, but it also showed my what a no-win situation his might be.  This, combined with some events in my family, shaped the conclusion of the story. I realized that a straight-up happy ending wasn’t in the cards for him, just like their was no quick fix for the families in Thank You for Your Service. But there was great opportunity for love, courage and redemption.

The Book from Left-field: The Way of the Fight

I found this autobiography of UFC champion Georges St. Pierre crammed into the teetering ‘Religion’ shelf of a an overcrowded used bookstore. I pulled it out and hee-hawed with my friends. They didn’t know who St. Pierre was, but were amused/embarrassed at the cover, which featured the fighter bare-chested and geared for the fight. I’d developed an interest in St. Pierre and the UFC after watching some pre-fight coverage on a TV at the local McDonalds. I was puzzled by what would motivate a man to make a career of beating people up on national television.  Here was my chance to find out.  It turned out, MMA fighting is much more complicated than that.

It’s less of a life-story and more an explanation of his ideology. St. Pierre comes across as a philosopher, a learner, and a man dedicated to a craft. In fact, much of what he said on conquering fear, managing risk, submitting to mentorship, and constant learning could be applied directly to writing.  I was in the thick of publishing We are the Living at the time, and choking on the fear of exposing my novel (and thus the inner workings of my mind) to an audience. The Way of the Fight turned out to be the medicine I needed.

The One I Wrote: We are the Living

How do you find peace and hope when you have no control over your life?

Kayla’s plans are as finely tuned as her cello, so when Liam joins her friends on their tour of Europe, she resents him.  The ex-soldier with a fragile psyche seems like a liability.  But when political turmoil in France explodes into a zombie apocalypse, their lives may depend on this warrior’s skills.

Their flight takes them to a tiny Italian community where a mysterious priest is curing zombies. There, Kayla and Liam’s shared horror draws them together.  But they aren’t the only ones who want the cure.

As the threat of the living eclipses the danger of the undead, they must decide whether to run, or to fight for those they love.

“Zombies Geralyn?” a friend said to me. “It’s not a zombie novel,” I always said, “It’s a love story that has zombies in it.” I relished writing scenes of gritty hand-to-hand combat between undead, the living and rebel/terrorist fighters. Snappy dialogue and off-beat humour was my joy. But it’s the relationship that develops between Liam and Kayla that I’m most proud of. You can pick it up here.

Other excellent books I read included: The Forgotten Trinity (White), Wheat Belly (Davis), The Amazing Connection Between Food and Love (Smalley), A Whole New Mind (Pink), The Lord of the Rings (my third read-through of the giant classic), Divergent (Roth), The Republic (Plato), and City of Bones (Clare).

What Did You Read?

I’m curious. What were the best books you read this year? I’m always searching for a great new read. Right now I’m in the market for a great novel. Was there a book that changed you this year?

Outrunning My Idiot Complex

I’m intimidated by my trainees.

They are educated in ways I hope to attain one day–a degree in physics (physics!), a degree in finance, and possibly degrees in business administration.  They’re well traveled, and they’re much older than I am.

But neither of them know how to coat pharmaceuticals, so they’re stuck with me.  I know coating, at least.  I know it quite well.

Calculus = Smart?

I’ve always desired to be the smartest one in the room.  When I was a preteen my Dad told me how much he’d struggled with trigonometry in school.  I resolved to master it.  In high school I did, indeed, become competent in low-level trigonometry and pushed myself to study the highest maths I could.

I can’t tell you how much time and tears I expended on the subject.  Why?  Because Calculus = smart.  I studied advanced physics.  Why? Physics = smart.

All the while, I was destined to be a… writer.  Woe is me.  If only I’d thought classic literature, poetry and writing classes were the thing for smart people to do!

Recreational IQ Testing

I’ve also been known to take online IQ tests for the fun of it.  I’ve been told they only count if they’re administered by a professional, but I still like to be reassured that my IQ is just a little higher than the average Jane’s.  I may in fact be ‘gifted’.

Never mind how many derelict genius’s there are out there.

I don’t know why intelligence matters so much to me.  I don’t know why I have to be “smart”.  Logically, I believe that IQ helps, but hard work trumps talent every time.  In fact, I have this coworker who I’m certain has a high IQ and is technically “smarter” than I am.  But I outwork him every day, and soon I’m going to pass him.  I don’t believe in saying “Oh, I’m just not smart.”

So why the heck do I have to be a genius?

The Book has a Silver Lining

You can’t choose your IQ, but fortunately there are no limits on the knowledge you may absorb.  So since I’m never smart enough, I keep on reading.  Oh yeah, I love to read, but mostly I’m outrunning my idiot status.  Must know more!  Must read classic novels.  Must read books on leadership.  Must read books on history.  Must read Plato.

I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to sit in a waiting room, reading Plato while everyone else is reading tabloids.  If that doesn’t swell my head, I don’t know what will.

If only they gave PhD’s to people who read enough books.

Close Enough?

Nevertheless, I am now a professor of pharmaceutical coating.  I’ve always wanted to be a professor of something.  I asked MY coach if she feels like an idiot the whole time she is coaching trainees.

“Pretty much,” she said.

Well, then I’m on the right track.

 

 

Two Tear-Jerker Commercials

In honour of Labour Day weekend, here are two awesome videos that made my eyes well up.  Never mind that one is a commercial for scotch and the other for life insurance.  These two commercials got it right.  Watch and enjoy.

Geralyn

Unsung Hero

A young man’s kindness may not bring him fame, but it will make a difference.  Wow, this one nails it!

I Read Your Book

An elderly man learns to read for a special purpose.  Oh this one made me choke up!

 

3 Ways to Read More

The typical American reads five books a year, according to the Pew Research Center.  I suspect Canadians are not much different. When I discuss books with friends, I almost universally hear: “I should really read more.”

Reading, as important as it is to our personal growth, doesn’t feel urgent.  In the press of our insane schedules, it seems impossible to squeeze in.  I get that.  I work full time, and am self-employed as a writer.  Still, I love to read and I manage to read three to four books a month.  Here are three ways I’ve learned to get my pages in.

1. Learn to Read in Short Snatches

The reading throne.

Many of the people who say “I should read more” also say they have to sit down and read for half an hour in order to make it worthwhile.  If you can get in half an hour of reading two or three days a week, more power to you.  But I get most of my reading done in five and ten minute increments.  When at work, one of my breaks is dedicated to reading.  I pick up a book at breakfast, or just before bed.  I read for the minute while I’m brushing my teeth.  I even read on the toilet.  Yup.

I find this gives me a ‘bite’ of information to digest at a time instead of a whole meal.  It may, in fact, make reading less intimidating.

But to read in short bursts, you’ll need to…

2. Have 2 or 3 Books on the Go

Instead of focusing on one book, have two or more books on different subjects in progress.  This way, if you become bored of one, you can switch to the other.  You can have a heavy read and a light read, and alternate as you have mental energy.

I like to have three books going at one time–usually a novel, a book on personal development, and one on another subject.  Right now I’m reading The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), Self-Editing for Fiction Writers (Browne and King), Twitter for Writers (Hall) and And Justice for All (Woodward).  That’s one novel, two books on my craft (writing), and one book on political theory.  Of course, you should tailor your reading list to your own interests and profession.

3. Have Books Everywhere

The easiest way to get a chapter in here and there will be to have books available at all times.  I keep one in my locker at work and one in my bathroom, and there is often one either on my nightstand, or on the kitchen table.

Another trick: download the free Kindle app to your smartphone.  E-books are cheap, and you probably carry your phone everywhere. I read a good chunk of Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5 in various checkout lines. No one need ever know you’re reading.  They’ll think you’re on Facebook. 🙂

By the way, if the book is boring, unrelatable, or just plain stupid, don’t finish it.  Time is too short to waste on a bad book.

A word of caution.  Reading is brainwashing.

As Stephen Covey said, “Begin with the end in mind.”  Decide what kind of person you want to be, or what you want to be an expert in, and let books point you that way.  I tailor my reading toward my writing career (novels are important, therefore), with a hefty dose of personal development because I’m not the person I want to be, or need to be in order to be successful.  I strongly limit my exposure to romances, especially those with explicit sexual materials.  I want to view people as brothers, sisters and friends, not sexual objects. Again, this is based on personal conviction and interest.

Read with an open mind. I’ve learned life lessons from the most unlikely books (such as lessons on fear that I learned from Georges St. Pierre’s book).  I’m learning to read, not just see what the book is about, but to find answers for questions I have.  I mine many blog post ideas from books I read.

I hope these tips are helpful. I believe that reading is one of the most valuable tools we have to make changes in our lives, and the more we read, the faster we work on ourselves.

Happy page-turning!

 

 

What Can My Small Voice Do?

Monday, Robin Williams dies in his San Francisco home, succumbing to severe depression. Tuesday, across the continent, I am in a factory making antidepressants. This isn’t lost on me. I mourn helplessly as I watch the hundreds of thousands of tablets rush by.

Iraq: Christians, Yazidis and other innocents are systematically killed under the onslaught of the ISIS. Outrage explodes all over social media, and every Christian blog sounds the trumpet. “Wake up!” they say. “Grow a pair!”

So I write to my Member of Parliament, and I look for an organization to donate to, and I pray, all the while knowing that the letter won’t reach the government for days, and the money can’t throw up a brick wall between the bullets and the little kids.

What can my small voice do?

In times like this it’s stylish to bash North American apathy. Oh yeah, I have it easy. I’m safe at home in front of my MacBook after my shift in the pharmaceutical factory. But what the hell do you want me to do? Get a gun and hop on the first plane?

Does anyone ever tell you that you must live your own life?

You cannot for one instant become an Iraqi Christian, take a bullet and be cleansed of the guilt of being a rich, white American. You are yourself, and here you are, in front of your MacBook.

But consider that Robin Williams was also a rich, white American, and he died in his own home, in the agony of depression. He’s a public case of a common story. We are surrounded by people who feel alone and hopeless, who stagger under the crushing weight of mental illness, physical abuse, relational brokenness, financial burdens, failure at their job, and unbearable schedules. Twitter isn’t hopping with their stories, but the pain is real.

We are surrounded by a sea of troubles.  We don’t need to look so far into the distance when they are right under our noses.

I fear that North Americans come off as apathetic because they’ve been convinced that they are too little to fix things.  Think of what we say: “The government ought to… My boss ought to… My parents need to…”  Our movies are all about BIG problems fixed by action heroes, spies, and superstars.  Heck, even the Evangelical Christian world is dominated by megachurch pastors and their best selling books.

That’s bull.

I can’t help but think of the proverb “If everyone would sweep their front step, the whole world would be clean.”  It is by ten-thousand small acts that the world changes.

I hope I’m not coming off too preachy. In fact, this post is the result of hours of contemplation and quite a few helpless tears. What can my small voice do? I’ve come to the shaky realization that I must do what only I can do. I must complete my assignment on this earth.

There are four ways I believe this can be accomplished.

1. Accept our Assignments.

No one has the exact combination of friends, family, location and predispositions that we do. We must be at peace with our starting point because it makes us uniquely qualified to work in our circle of influence. The moment we say “I wish I was…” or feel guilty for who we are, we inadvertently say “I am too good for this.” Instead, start looking for what you are good at, and what provokes you, and consider this the trailhead to your mission.

2. Become experts.

We begin by acceptance, but we can’t be satisfied with who we are. The resources and knowledge we begin with won’t be sufficient to live a meaningful, excellent life. We’ve got to become educated, to move past shallow opinions to a true understanding of what we believe. Moreover, we’ve got to develop the skills needed to propel us forward, be it interpersonal skills, business know-how, communication and writing–in my case, all of the above. University is good, but not necessary. Quality books and audios are much cheaper, and readily available.

3. Build a Community

It has been said that you are the results of the books you read and the people you associate with. It’s important to assemble a team of people around you so you can encourage each other, learn from one another, and shore up each other’s weaknesses. I have a community of writers around me who’ve encouraged me and have taught me everything from the mechanics of writing to business and marketing. I wouldn’t be the writer I am today without them, and six months or a year from now, I will be much better because of them. They speak truth to me.

4. Make an Impassioned Plea

Let your voice be heard. Talk about what is important to you. Write letters to your government representatives write to editors, blog, post on Facebook and Twitter, and talk to your friends. Do this with gentleness and respect, and the deepest understanding you can muster.

I denounce the use of guilt tactics to try to wake us up.  Guilt is a lousy fertilizer for growing spines. But I don’t condemn that every blog is talking about Robin Williams and the slaughter in Iraq.  I wouldn’t have heard about it otherwise.

Let your voice be heard, but don’t be satisfied with just speaking.  Reach out–with your gifts, your connections, and your knowledge.

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little.  Do what you can,”–Sir Sidney Smith.

Resources:

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Member of Parliament

LIFE Leadership (A well-rounded source of training on interpersonal, leadership and success principles)

The Center for Social Leadership

Resting is Growing, Waiting is Training

“Don’t try to do more, even if you feel you can,” the Couch to 5K program said.

“No problem,” I said.  At the time I couldn’t run at all.  I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be tempted.  But now I’ve built up some ability and I’m eager to see what I can really do.  Don’t try to do more?  What’s that supposed to mean?

I was taught to work hard since I was big enough to hold a broom.  My parents are both hard workers and, because I came from a large family, everyone needed to do their part.  Since my late teens I’ve been pumped full of success principles: dream big, make no excuses, just do it.  I’m driven.  I’ve got a dream.  I work hard at it.

I’ve also been taught that you need to ‘sharpen the saw’ as Stephen Covey said.  I’m not good at it.  I can’t leave my laptop at home.  I can’t put down the book.  I can’t get off Twitter and Facebook.

This week, as I read through The Way of the Fight, by Georges St. Pierre, I read something that made a lot of sense.  St. Pierre said: “What balance has also are the following two incredibly important lessons: 1) resting is growing and 2) waiting is training.”

Resting is Growing

“What does ‘resting is growing’ really mean?  It means that you have to give your body time to recover from tough workouts, especially if you’re training every day.  It sounds really weird to people who work out so much, but that’s because they’re addicted to the workout.  They can’t stop.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  It’s because the body and the brain are sometimes fighting battles.  The body wants to rest and grow, while the brain thinks the body needs more work.”

I’m no elite athlete, and in spite of my enthusiasm, I assure you, I don’t feel like running every day. 🙂  But, I can insert ‘writing’ or ‘work’ or ‘networking’ or whatever activity one might obsess over.  Resting is growing.  The body needs time to rebuild, and likewise the mind needs time to digest the information it takes in, to charge with new inspiration and to gain strength from joyful interaction with others.  I’ve learned that I need to schedule time to shut off work and writing, and be truly present in other fun activities–i.e. a movie or dinner with my family.

Rest is productive time.

Waiting is Training

“‘Waiting is training’ means that I can spend more time preparing mentally for my next session or fight, and less time physically exhausting myself.  By waiting, I’m sending a message that strategy is more important than pure physical power, that tactics surpass repetition, and that the brain is the most powerful muscle in the body.”

I experienced this with my blog this week.  Normally, my tactic is ‘full steam ahead.’  If I’m not happy with the traffic on my blog, I throw more posts at the problem.

That sounds violent…

I write more, in other words.  This week (also while reading GSP’s book) I realized that I was beating my head against the wall.  I needed outside perspective.  Instead of posting as usual, I needed to wait, ask writing colleagues to look at my site, and find ways to do things differently.  As a result I embarked on a site overhaul.  I had to wait instead of posting because I didn’t have the time to dedicate to both writing and redesigning.

I clarified my values and my goals in the process.  Now my efforts can become more focused.

You can learn from anything, I tell you.  I thought The Way of the Fight would be an interesting read.  I didn’t know it would be the best book I’d read in months.

Today I’m not running.  I felt like it, but I didn’t.  I am writing, so maybe this is a tad hypocritical.  BUT, yesterday I watched The Matrix instead of writing.  You know, a writer can learn a lot from a movie…

I just can’t turn it off, my friends.  I’m working on it!

Quotes from The Way of the Fight, by Georges St. Pierre.

3 Reasons Why Fear is Good

“Once fear enters your life—whether it’s been there for a second or a lifetime makes no difference—it will take you in one of two directions: empowerment or panic,”—Georges St. Pierre.

I never expected a man so competent in physically dominating other people to talk so much about fear.  Georges St. Pierre is a mixed martial arts fighter of great acclaim. Though currently retired, the Canadian athlete is considered one of the best UFC fighters of all time.

photo credit: wikimedia commons

I picked up his autobiography in a local used bookstore. It had migrated, most amusingly, into the Christianity section. I pulled it from the shelf, laughed about its location with my friends, and then ended up buying it. “Don’t judge me,” I said. Even pacifist Mennonite writers can take an interest in Ultimate Fighting.  I don’t understand the urge to fight.  I’m not sure I agree with it.  But I’ve learned you can learn a great deal from anyone who is at the top of his game, and St. Pierre is one such person.

Lesson one: anyone who becomes a champion must push past fear. Based on how much St. Pierre talks about it, he must have conquered a lot of fear.

Fear Needn’t be Negative

“The key, I discovered, is to understand fear and how it works… I don’t have a choice, because fear walks next to you everywhere in life. It has a reason for being there. People feel fear because they sense a threat… So fear’s purpose is ultimately good—that’s what people forget. Fear is designed to bring you to a safe place…

The problem with fear is that it’s talking to you about the future—it says, MOVE! Something else that is bad and painful could be coming your way… And people are like animals in this instance; they tend to follow their instincts. They follow the fear and dedicate all their energy to moving out of the way, toward safety.”

We tend to see fear as a negative thing, and understandably so. It’s painful to be afraid. It puts a lot of stress on our emotions, our minds, and even our bodies. But fear can actually be quite valuable. First, in instances of actual, physical danger, fear releases adrenaline and give our bodies the strength to survive. Second, fear can be the motivator that gives us the strength to win. Our dread can be our driver.

Dread Drove him to Victory

St. Pierre wrote about his first UFC fight. He was caught in his opponent’s hold, and everyone thought he was done. But he knew if he lost he wouldn’t be able to pay rent, or buy food that month. His opponent was fighting to win. He was fighting to survive.

“I was ready to die to get out of that hold. Break my arm if you have to, I thought. I didn’t have a choice. So I used the surge of adrenaline to roll him, got him on his back, and won. The fear-based adrenaline, the training and the empowerment of making a decision all helped me to victory.”

Our fear can be the ‘why’ that makes us push hard enough to win.  One reason this works is that fear can drive us to prepare for the unexpected.

Fear Keeps us Moving

“Standing still is never a good option. Not in the ring, and not in life outside the octagon either. When you stop moving, you’re done. When the status quo becomes your main weapon, your arsenal is diminished. When you can find no other way forward except for repetition, your mistakes are compounded into defeat.”

We’ve heard of the ‘deer in the headlights’. Those who grew up in wooded areas may have experienced the moment when the deer appears from nowhere, lit up by your headlights. You freeze. The deer freezes. What happens?

Smack!

It’s bad for the both of you, trust me.

Likewise, if we freeze from fear, we’ll lose. But fear can drive us to improve in order to master our fears and be prepared.

“I want to fight guys who are better than me in all kinds of techniques. I want my training to be harder than my actual fights so I can be prepared to face the toughest opponents—so I can be ready to deal with fear.”

My Own Fears

When I began writing this post, I thought I was afraid of my book not selling–of being a failure as an author.  I realized that this isn’t the case.  I’m afraid of judgement and embarrassment.

I am no more than a month away from releasing We are the Living, and I am mentally preparing myself for the worst.  It’s my first book. How good could it possibly go? I know that success is usually a process of small increments (something GSP says himself) but I dread being asked “so, how many books have you sold?” and having to answer, “ten.”  So this fear drives me to research, to mentor with other writers, to tweak, to write better and better, and to network more and more. Ambition drives me too, but fear provides double the motivation.

If there is any theme in GSP’s biography, it is that success is stress, tension, fear, never accepting ‘good enough,’ and never, ever being done. But it is clear that he’d never trade it for a comfortable, couch-potato existence.  I don’t know enough about him to say if he is a man of good character.  No doubt he’s done things I disagree with (being a UFC fighter not the least of them).  But he is clearly a smart and courageous man, and I can admire that.

I’m going to contemplate the idea of fear and examine my reactions to see where they are fear based.  How many of my decisions are based on fear?  Probably more than I’d like to admit.  But recognizing them is the first step to growth.

If I Could Tell Grads One Thing

Doesn’t it come to a point where you want to sucker-punch every aunt, grandma and friend who asks “What are you going to do after you graduate?”  Some of you have plans, but if you’re like me, you don’t.  And saying “I’m going to work” doesn’t have much of a ring to it, does it?

I’m here to tell you: that’s just fine.  You don’t have to have a good answer.

I was ejected from my safe, homeschool haven at seventeen, found a job at a meat packing plant and moved out. It was the definition of a dead-end job, but I made the most of it. It was just an interim job, but interim to what I didn’t know.

There is the odd, fortunate soul who knows just what they want when they graduate. But it seems most of us haven’t a hot clue. So we do like I did and get the first available job, or we take ‘University One’ or, if you’re of the Evangelical stripe, we go to Bible School hoping to ‘find God’s will for our lives.’ We were meant for something, our parents said when we were in kindergarten—to be firemen, musical divas, astronauts and presidents. So we watch, and wait.

And wait.

That’s how people get three degrees, I think—psychology, kinesiology and a bachelor of arts. Not that I wouldn’t like to get three degrees. If I could get paid to go to school, I’d be well on my way to a doctorate in something.

Hmm… Dr. Geralyn Wichers. I like that.

But I digress.

Winston Churchill said:

“To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.”

Waiting is inevitable. I think it’s unreasonable to ask a seventeen-year-old to decide what they want to ‘do’ for the rest of their lives. Most graduates can’t even write a grocery list, never mind a plan for their lives (no offense—I couldn’t either). If I’m reading Churchill right, the key is not knowing what you want, but preparing for when it comes. ‘When my ship comes in, I’m going to know how to sail’ kinda thing.

You can’t learn everything about something from a book—I know that. I’ve read marriage books and listened to talks on marriage and family, and I even took a college course on the subject, but I expect to run a pretty steep learning curve if I ever marry.

However, the experiences you have while you are young: travelling, reading, studying, volunteering—read: learning, learning LEARNING—lay a foundation for your life. The more of these things you do, the more broad and solid your foundation is.

In my late teens, I was involved in a network marketing business. I learned about making sales calls and presenting information. I gained a lot of courage from making myself do that, but as a business person I failed miserably. But, what this business had was a superb leadership education system. So, starting at age eighteen, I had people-skills, financial management, economics, conflict resolution, and basic success principles pumped into me.

I wish I could give the same to every grad.

Though I felt humiliated by the business aspect, I can’t regret that time because I laid a gigantic base for my life. I know I’d never be pursuing a career as a writer now if I hadn’t been exposed to that information then. I wouldn’t have known I could.

Finally, remember that ‘it is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can,” (to quote Sir Sidney Smith).

Just because we’re not sure what we want to make of our lives does not give us license to sit on our butts at home, as tempting as that is. What if our defining moment only arrives in our seventies?

Benjamin Franklin’s greatest work was as a statesman. He was an old man when that happened. But he’d been pretty dang busy—writing, building a franchise model printing business, flying his kite. He’d built up a solid base of experience and a network of influence. When the time came and his country needed him, he was ready.

If we do nothing, by seventy we’ll be… nothing.

So I encourage you to do the first thing, be it taking University One or a job at McDonalds—and be intentional about it. Wring every drop of knowledge you can from it. Pick up a book or subscribe to a podcast on something that fascinates you. Take adventures—explore, go on missions or humanitarian trips, go on road trips. You’re young now, and there’s not much to tie you down. Don’t wait for life to happen to you.

And always be looking, waiting for the hand to tap you on the shoulder so you can step up and shine.

My Body: Slave or Master?

“I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize,” –the Apostle Paul.

I’m not an athlete—decidedly not. I took up ‘working out’ three weeks ago, and I’ve yet to wane in enthusiasm, though choir practices leading up to Easter services have put a temporary damper on things. Have you tried to sing for two hours—holding long phrases, hitting high notes–after working your abs?

That’s one way for a rookie ‘worker-outer’ to make a fool of herself.

In this short stint of exercising, I’ve learned is that determination is just as important as strength. One exercise I perform is ‘wall-sitting’—you know, the one where you sit against the wall as if in a chair, but there is no chair? For a minute I’m good. But come 70 seconds, my legs are screaming, and at 90 I am holding the position by force of will only–but I am holding it.

What would happen if I quit as soon as I hit the pain threshold? Would the exercise be effective? It’s that old axiom, ‘No pain, no gain.’ We put aside comfort for the sake of the greater goal—fitness in my case, and in St. Paul’s case, reaching many with the Gospel.

But are we willing to go that far?

I’ve heard enough (and done enough) whining lately to think not. Oh we human creatures can whine!

It’s so hard. Oh, it’s so hard—I’m so bored of healthy eating. It’s too hard to pack healthy food to work. I just want French fries.

My books won’t sell. Why won’t they sell? Why do I get these bad reviews?

All my pants are baggy.  I hate it when my clothes don’t fit.  I deserve new jeans.

I can’t hold those long notes—I have a cold. My lung capacity is diminished. My abs hurt from all those planks. I’m not out of shape, oh no, not me. 🙂

“So quit,” I said to myself, while walking through the grocery store wishing for pizza. “So quit,” I thought as the person on Facebook complained that they were bored with health food.  If it’s too hard, quit. Presto! Problem solved. Whining stopped. Commence pizza-eating. But you know you can’t eat like a normal person and get abnormal health results. I’m sorry.

You can’t be above average while acting average.

If the results simply aren’t worth the effort, just be honest with yourself and don’t say ‘I’m bored’ or ‘it’s too hard’. Say ‘It wasn’t worth it to me.’

An example: I stopped taking violin lessons when I graduated from college, and though I kept up playing for a while, I simply did not have time for everything I wanted to accomplish. I can’t stand to be bad at the violin, and I don’t want to put the time in to be good. It simply isn’t worth the effort, so I let it go. That’s why I’m not good at hockey, or Call of Duty even though I’ve enjoyed both. The result isn’t worth the effort.

But if what you want is worth it, prepare for the struggle. Prepare to give up whatever it takes. Prepare to ‘beat your body and make it your slave’.

In the passage leading up to the verse I quoted, Paul lists out his rights as an apostle and a leader in the Christian church and then says “But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ,” (emphasis mine).

Imagine being so passionate about your cause, your dream, your faith, that you’d put up with anything rather than sabotage it–whatever ‘it’ is.

This means losing sleep and leisure time, this means pain and pizza only on birthdays. This will probably mean embarrassment—even if it’s only the discomfiture of holding a ‘superman’ position on the floor of the locker room as your coworkers walk past.

I don’t want to do this. My body does not want to eat another omelet. It wants a chocolate muffin. My body doesn’t want to open up my laptop and start writing. It wants to watch TV. My body doesn’t want to engage my coworker in conversation and take an interest in her life. It wants to be silent and shy.

But who’s the master?  Me or my body?