I’m Not Good at Waiting: A Guilt-Ridden Confession

I hate to wait. Hate it.

And I don’t mean waiting in line, or for the microwave to finish. Actually, due to my Twitter app, Facebook app, WordPress app, and Kindle app, I can pass my line-waiting time in productive bliss. It’s the unproductive waiting I abhor.

And that is what my day was all about. Lemme ‘splain.

When I arrived at work I was given a coating assignment, but the coating pan was awaiting a post-cleaning swab so I had to wait. It was eight. The swab was scheduled for ten. I accomplished every small job I could think of, which took fifteen minutes. After waiting, and deliberating, it was decided that my two coworkers and I would make a suspension. But, just as we were ready to begin, it was discovered that one of our mixers was broken.

A mechanic was summoned. There was nothing else to do. Everything was set up. The instructions were read and reread. So we waited for his arrival, and we waited as he tinkered.

The mixer was pronounced serviceable, but the supervisor required consulting. I waited for the supervisor to be consulted.

Seems I would have made as much progress if I’d stayed home.

Ah, but what else could you do but wait? You may ask.

I have no idea. I asked my coach if I could do something. I tried to spur my coworkers along. Nothing worked. I was guilt-stricken, because I was raised to work hard and waiting doesn’t constitute of working hard unless one has a Kindle app to read furiously on. I felt like a slacker, because I was being paid good money to stand there.

Maybe I should have tried harder. Maybe I could have, I dunno, swept the floor or something.

Or, maybe, I just needed to wait, and when the time came, be faithful with my work.

I liken this to my life as a whole. I work hard—I set goals, I read, I write, I network. Yet things don’t seem to change. So I work harder! I obsess over what I’m doing wrong. I feel guilty.

But what If I need to wait? What if I need to be still? What if, by my very attempts at busyness, I miss the point?

Perhaps I need to be diligent in my work, and wait, trusting that my Heavenly Father shall work all things out in his time?

Do I have to?

2 thoughts on “I’m Not Good at Waiting: A Guilt-Ridden Confession

  1. …how would the day have gone if you hadn’t done all the things you could do to be productive? Perhaps it was good timing for the mixer to be repaired while you were waiting on other things.
    …waiting can be very hard to do…but don’t kid yourself; being productive doesn’t come naturally either! Being busy can easily be mistaken for being productive.

    1. That is true. Productivity and busyness are not the same–at all. I suppose what I’m struggling with is knowing when I’ve done all I can, and when I should try harder.

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